Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
