you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
