WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
