Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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