Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
this beer tastes like vomit already
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
