dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
