I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
