Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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