i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
