I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
