At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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