Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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