Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
