Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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