So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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