That's intense
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I want a musical about memes.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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