You just made me feel so damn special
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize