Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
