The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
