the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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