is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
