I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize