Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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