Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
