Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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