Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
