i barfeds in our rink
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
