ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I love black thongs
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
