im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
