I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
