my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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