can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
