She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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