one might say we're banned from that church
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
