Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Randomize
