oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
