dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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