He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
