You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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