toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
