There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize