Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
