Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
