actually, I'm a sock model
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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