Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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