Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
