I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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