some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize