Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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