no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
