How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
