best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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