Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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