i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i dont even know how to be here
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
