i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
