Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i love accidental penises.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
