I hate your face
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
