Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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