I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
