Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize