My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
