It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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